"Enrichment of lives, yours and others', is a mere byproduct of a more important process of self purification."
- N.
- N.
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
The Imperfect
My imperfect views on my imperfect thoughts in my own imperfect words:
“Imperfect”…yes. Rendered so by the standards which continue turning inside-out with the course of the centuries. Imperfect like a tree. So distorted, yet so beautiful. Imperfect like a mountain. So rugged, yet so majestic. Yes, I am ‘the imperfect’ by their standards, I am ‘the misfit’ by prevailing credo to which I somehow failed to adapt myself…And though this truth has dawned on me quite a while before, though this frailty in my nature has been exposed to me time and again, I still try to flourish, I still thrive in my niche of existence…not just to exist, neither to find any purpose nor to understand the momentary realities which are of no direct concern to me, but to discover only as much as to make my own life rich, only as much that works for ‘my’ joy, clean and pure. Yes, I am ‘the selfish’. So is that tree and that mountain. I live not for the purpose of others first, but for the self. I give not for the good of others, but for the pleasure of mine. The rewards and awards of generosity and praise are not pursued by me, they are only conferred by others. I only revere the beauty of my way of living my life till I am alive, I relish my days in the sun by my own “Imperfect” standards.
I fall, I flounder, I fail, I falter, I suffer, I bleed, I rise, I walk on, fully aware of the adversary, always ready for that last blow where I’ll be cast out by the centuries old laws of “Natural Selection” and “Survival of the fittest”. But what do I care when I know even the “Fittest”, even the most “Perfect” are headed for doom, are destined for extinction one day. Do I need to exist eternally trying to adjust, adopt, struggle, compete, fight to live but never being able to live or do I need a life which is though short, yet lived on my own terms and yet ending with not a single desire left unfulfilled, without a single stain on my conscience and with not a single shred of guilt on my mind. Yes, I strive for such a life and I revel in such imperfection.
“Imperfect”…yes. Rendered so by the standards which continue turning inside-out with the course of the centuries. Imperfect like a tree. So distorted, yet so beautiful. Imperfect like a mountain. So rugged, yet so majestic. Yes, I am ‘the imperfect’ by their standards, I am ‘the misfit’ by prevailing credo to which I somehow failed to adapt myself…And though this truth has dawned on me quite a while before, though this frailty in my nature has been exposed to me time and again, I still try to flourish, I still thrive in my niche of existence…not just to exist, neither to find any purpose nor to understand the momentary realities which are of no direct concern to me, but to discover only as much as to make my own life rich, only as much that works for ‘my’ joy, clean and pure. Yes, I am ‘the selfish’. So is that tree and that mountain. I live not for the purpose of others first, but for the self. I give not for the good of others, but for the pleasure of mine. The rewards and awards of generosity and praise are not pursued by me, they are only conferred by others. I only revere the beauty of my way of living my life till I am alive, I relish my days in the sun by my own “Imperfect” standards.
I fall, I flounder, I fail, I falter, I suffer, I bleed, I rise, I walk on, fully aware of the adversary, always ready for that last blow where I’ll be cast out by the centuries old laws of “Natural Selection” and “Survival of the fittest”. But what do I care when I know even the “Fittest”, even the most “Perfect” are headed for doom, are destined for extinction one day. Do I need to exist eternally trying to adjust, adopt, struggle, compete, fight to live but never being able to live or do I need a life which is though short, yet lived on my own terms and yet ending with not a single desire left unfulfilled, without a single stain on my conscience and with not a single shred of guilt on my mind. Yes, I strive for such a life and I revel in such imperfection.
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